Look, at Stay in Tamarindo, we're nothing if not honest. And, in all our many years of travel planning, we've learned a lot about what makes travelers most unhappy about a vacation in Tamarindo.
We're talking true horrors – vacation nightmares the likes of which you never knew existed, let alone ones you have previously experienced. We're talking a tropical sun that doesn't quit, a restaurant scene that ignores the fact that you purposely booked a vacation rental that had a dishwasher, and a Great Outdoors that rudely demands you explore tranquil mangroves, watch monkeys playing in the trees, and observe nesting sea turtles in their natural habitats.
It's awful and you're going to hate it. Please don't say we didn't warn you.
Natural beauty – who needs it? Who even wants it? You are so NOT that kind of traveler. You don't like the beach. You hate warm sand between your toes. No one in your travel group likes to surf. Or take long walks at sunrise or sunset. Or swim in the temperate Pacific. Or take scenic photos. And there's absolutely nothing Tamarindo and its world-famous Gold Coast can do to change that. You are NOT a warm-sun-and-tropical-paradise kind of vacationer, plain and simple.
Tropical dry forest, critical sea turtle nesting sites, protected beaches, tranquil mangroves – none of it appeals. You're not here to see sloths, monkeys, and toucans. You have no desire to catch the eye of a crocodile (not even from the safety of a boat) or stand-up paddle board near sea turtles. You don't want to spot leaping dolphins or tiny tree frogs. You don't like the Great Outdoors, period, and you'd prefer to spend your vacation inside. No nature required (or welcome, if you're being completely honest). You didn't come to Costa Rica for its nature, thank you.
Restaurants, schmestaurants. You prefer pb&j to tuna poke, thank you very much. The whole reason you chose to rent a Tamarindo vacation rentalwas for the kitchen: Instead of canopy zipline tours, dry forest hikes, wildlife watching and sunset sails, you plan to dedicate much of your time in Costa Rica to the everyday slog of prepping (and cleaning) breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For you, the allure of Tamarindo, and its dozens of first-class restaurants – complete with wine menus, creative cocktails, and artisanal beers, of course – is nil. You don't need 'em. You don't want 'em. You love loading the dishwasher.
Look, we all know that the best thing about vacation is flying for hours in a cramped plane, only to then "arrive" at your destination and drive for more hours and hours. And more hours, preferably. Especially along unfamiliar roads. That's the absolute best. You don't want to book worry-free airport transportation. You don't want a rental car, delivered to your vacation rental. And you definitelydon't want to be subjected to a <90 minute, scenic ride from the airport to your final beach destination. That would be unconscionable.
Space to spread out? UH-HUH. You don't need it, you don't want it. In fact, you reject it. The magic of travel is directly proportionate to how tiny, cramped and, preferably, overpriced your hotel room is. The thought of your own luxury vacation home, with 2-10+ bedrooms, spacious bathrooms, private ocean-view swimming pools, bubbling hot tubs, and any other amenity under the sun? Not your cup of tea. You like hearing your hotel neighbors laughing at 1 a.m. You love sharing one, single room with your kids. And a lukewarm hotel breakfast? It's THE BEST. So, there you have it: Five really great reasons that a vacation in Tamarindo isn't for you. Because we have your back.
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You Loathe Beaches. Especially the Beautiful Ones.
Natural beauty – who needs it? Who even wants it? You are so NOT that kind of traveler. You don't like the beach. You hate warm sand between your toes. No one in your travel group likes to surf. Or take long walks at sunrise or sunset. Or swim in the temperate Pacific. Or take scenic photos. And there's absolutely nothing Tamarindo and its world-famous Gold Coast can do to change that. You are NOT a warm-sun-and-tropical-paradise kind of vacationer, plain and simple.
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Sorry – Great Outdoors, I'm Just Not That Into You.
Tropical dry forest, critical sea turtle nesting sites, protected beaches, tranquil mangroves – none of it appeals. You're not here to see sloths, monkeys, and toucans. You have no desire to catch the eye of a crocodile (not even from the safety of a boat) or stand-up paddle board near sea turtles. You don't want to spot leaping dolphins or tiny tree frogs. You don't like the Great Outdoors, period, and you'd prefer to spend your vacation inside. No nature required (or welcome, if you're being completely honest). You didn't come to Costa Rica for its nature, thank you.
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You Have No Desire for Good Food, Drink or Entertainment.
Restaurants, schmestaurants. You prefer pb&j to tuna poke, thank you very much. The whole reason you chose to rent a Tamarindo vacation rentalwas for the kitchen: Instead of canopy zipline tours, dry forest hikes, wildlife watching and sunset sails, you plan to dedicate much of your time in Costa Rica to the everyday slog of prepping (and cleaning) breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For you, the allure of Tamarindo, and its dozens of first-class restaurants – complete with wine menus, creative cocktails, and artisanal beers, of course – is nil. You don't need 'em. You don't want 'em. You love loading the dishwasher.
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You Want to Be in the Middle of Nowhere.
Look, we all know that the best thing about vacation is flying for hours in a cramped plane, only to then "arrive" at your destination and drive for more hours and hours. And more hours, preferably. Especially along unfamiliar roads. That's the absolute best. You don't want to book worry-free airport transportation. You don't want a rental car, delivered to your vacation rental. And you definitelydon't want to be subjected to a <90 minute, scenic ride from the airport to your final beach destination. That would be unconscionable.
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You Prefer Cramped Hotel Rooms.
Space to spread out? UH-HUH. You don't need it, you don't want it. In fact, you reject it. The magic of travel is directly proportionate to how tiny, cramped and, preferably, overpriced your hotel room is. The thought of your own luxury vacation home, with 2-10+ bedrooms, spacious bathrooms, private ocean-view swimming pools, bubbling hot tubs, and any other amenity under the sun? Not your cup of tea. You like hearing your hotel neighbors laughing at 1 a.m. You love sharing one, single room with your kids. And a lukewarm hotel breakfast? It's THE BEST. So, there you have it: Five really great reasons that a vacation in Tamarindo isn't for you. Because we have your back.